March 22, 2008: Yesterday and Today…

  I do not miss the scene.  I miss the scene.  I am two persons when it comes to that subject.  I miss the fantasy world that I once lived in.  But yet I know it wasn’t reality.  It was a world of drama, of love, of fear.  It was tasting the stars while flying through space on a spiraling trip in our own minds.  There can never be a yesterday like Dallas or Atlanta.  There can be no redo of that path in which we walked and danced.  There can only be the memories of the romantic disco balls and flashing lights.  The beat of the jungle music pulsing through our bodies on the dance floor.  A world of skin and fashion.  Those days are gone leaving us open to new adventures.  New romance.  A new beat to follow off the floor of dancing and into the world of the living.

   – some thoughts that I sent to a friend today.  A reminder of yesterday and today.

  I search for that elusive meaning of life that is like a butterfly in the wind.  Trying to catch it with my broken net.  Perhaps we will never catch that which is in our dreams our minds.  Perhaps it is the attempt to catch the meaning that drives us to search for tomorrow in today.  Perhaps it is the attempt that goes unfulfilled that keeps us moving forward.  Without it perhaps we would lose the desire to wake.

  I know that you are in the field of flowers with your net as well.  Like little kids we run and laugh…always one step behind the butterfly as it flutters above our heads.  Maybe it isn’t about finding the meaning in all of this.  Maybe it is simply the mere desire to explore, to want more, to learn more.  Maybe that IS the meaning.