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Beau's Journey » 2009 » December » 06

Archive: December 6th, 2009

December 6, 2009: Dione’s Rebbuttal – her “version”

  Dione sent me this today – I suppose this is how things played out in "her" head.  I think the saddest part of the whole rebuttal is that we all find out Denise was never asked to help.  At least that is what I got out of it.  Perhaps tomorrow Tony will take some time and write me his version.  It is quite funny.

  So anyway – I did agree to post her rebuttal –

So I was reading my brothers blog about the 2009 Christmas Parade and there are a few holes in it that I would like to patch up!

First I never said that daddy, Jamie, Denise and Tony were going to help in the parade.  I told Beau and Joey that Deena and Danielle were going to walk with us in order to hand out candy and coupons.  This was on paper and squared away with me.  I tried to get my husband to help but he only made up excuses one after the other.  (My parents are coming down, It would be a violation of his job agreement with US Foodservice)…whatever…Then I learn that Deena has to babysit 10 5th graders or something like that so now it is down to Beau, Joey, Danielle and me.  This is still doable in my eye’s, we might have to work a little harder but still doable. 

So we are in line at the parade parked on number 31 (that is our float number).  It is now about 4:15 or so and Beau, Joey and Danielle has not shown up.  I am getting a little nervous because if anyone knows me at all, everything needs to be ready and set to go an hour ahead of anything planned.  I don’t function well on last minute plans.  So I decide to phone Beau to see where they are at and when he answers the phone he proceeds to tell me that they thought it was the Metropolis Parade and now have to get over to Paducah in 15 minutes.  (Later I found out that was a lie that they were in Paducah but just running late)  ((Not Funny!)) 

So at around 4:40 or so Beau and Joey decide to show up and notify me that Danielle has hurt her leg and will not be joining us. (No notification from Team Danielle).        I then proceed to go into battle mode which means a whole new plan on how to give out 4,000 pieces of candy and 2,000 coupons by three people.  In my mind this is still doable but Beau and Joey will have to step up their game.  I know my limits but have never been in battle before with Beau and Joey, don’t know if they will dig down into their foxholes or go cowering behind some sandbags in the mist of it all. So I have a huddle session and remind everyone that we are representing the company and now is the time to show our true colors (which are not the rainbow colors) and hunker down.  We have to divide and conquer…Joey will take the left side of the street with his coupons and candy and I will take the right side of the street with my coupons and candy.  Beau you will have to watch us and follow behind as to where we miss the kids and then back us up by giving the kids we miss candy.  Everyone got it…and oh by the way get rid of the hoodie because your gonna scare the kids.  Beau looks like the Uni-Bomber but without sunglasses just regular glasses.  I asked if he could lose those and he looked at me like I was talking Vietnamese.  So anyway you have to pick your battles and it was too cold for that anthill.  Joey is dressed in a nice down white coat with rabbit fur around his hood which is pulled over his head so you can barely see his face in the hood.  I told them the rules…(1) No throwing candy (some kid got his eye poked out) (2) When your bag is empty go to Nancy on the back of the vehicle she will have another one ready for you (3) Only 2 candies per kid…no more…no less (4) Beau make sure you watch Joey and I so you can get the ones we miss. That’s it 4 rules…you would think that these 4 things would be easy to follow…I mean for real he is building a house with 5,000 rules and regulations that has to be met everyday in order to be compliant with the laws of the land.

So the parade is getting ready to start and we watch as numbers 1 through 30 ride pass us with floats all lighted up..Baby Jesus, Red Hatters even Mickey Mouse. I give Joey and Beau a tilt of my head upwards that this is it…here we go…we are ready!!!!

As I take off jogging beside the vehicle because you know the vehicle has to get going a little bit in order to get behind the other float there we were…pulling it off.  Some may have doubted that only the three of us could pull such a thing of this off.  I had the right hand side of the street and was pulling out candies and coupons as fast as my hands could go.  The bags weren’t opening fast enough for me so  I decided to go into Light Travel Mode and drop the candies down by the feet of all the boys and girls standing there.  This was good by the end of the first block I hand it down…Give out a few coupons while jogging still..drop candies by their feet and go…I don’t know what time it is or what block were on…I jog (still) towards Nancy to get my second bag of goodies and I look around and Beau and Jeoy are no where to be found.  ((THE FIRST BLOCK)) I look at Nancy and she just gives me this look of disappointment…then points back about 2 or 3 blocks to where you can barely see a White Rabbit Fur Lines coat walking casually or maybe skipping alongside the children passing out 1 coupon per child or adult.  As I look again I don’t see Beau anywhere.  So I grab the second bag of candies and go back to my side thinking…they will catch up…they are strong men…they have to dig in dig in dig in!!!!  As the parade moves on I am ok…not great but ok…still jogging (sometimes running) (ok the vehicles are going a little fast) but the right side is ok….I work on my 3rd bag of candy and am now out of coupons…I look back to see if I can see any sign of the soldiers ( I mean team mates) and I see a distance red coat about 3 floats back.  I wave him on that he needs to catch up…as he comes running up his bag is empty and I can only imagine how many disappointed kids are on the sidelines.  (Still don’t see Joey) So he grabs another bag and proceeds to whine about the situation and as I tell him to be quiet and just go to the left side I turn and hit back into battle on the right side.  The vehicle is now about 10 or 20 yards in front of us and the children are watching as Dippin’ Dots vehicle with Nancy on the back of the vehicle with all this candy is just sitting there and they are all screaming “Throw The Candy” “Throw The Candy”  she tries to yell back to them saying they are coming around they are coming…but after about 6 or 7 blocks of this she gets mad and throws candy at some kids while shouting at them “I’M NOT SUPPOSE TO THROW CANDY BUT THERE! “

So about half way through the parade I realize it is all up to me…I can either let these kids down or give them what they came for “Candy and Coupons” …as I was now running to both sides of the street because (Beau is still 3 or 4 floats back and is now pretty much giving out candy for the Red Hatters or Congregational Holiness Church whichever float is he running alongside of now) it is up to me and me alone to work both sides of the street while trying not to be run over by the float behind me which is in no way slowing down for me.  I run to the right and (Throw…I mean Toss) candy at the feet of as many kids as I can hit.  Then I run to the left side and try to (Throw…I mean Toss) as much candy down as I could because now I’m working in groups…forget the individual kids…it is fend for yourself…if you can get to the handfuls of candy I can (Throw …I mean Toss) down at someone’s feet then go for it…May the Strong Survive!  I’m looking for clusters now…clusters of kids who I can get to while running back and forth from the right to the left and then back to Nancy for refills…I’m going and going…and then a hear a faint “Hey Babe!”…I think its my imagination…I’m hot, tired, back is sore and I’m dreaming…Then I hear it again…”Hey Babe!”…I look up and there is my husband standing near the end of the parade in a warm scarf, gloves hat and coat…I grab a handful of candy and THROW it directly at him trying to hurt the only body I can hurt without being arrested as I run by still looking for clusters of kids.  So we get to the end of the parade in which Beau now comes up and goes wow didn’t know it was going to be that fast.  I look at him with as much disappointment as Nancy had riding on the back of that cold vehicle just watching as our chances of being the best Dippin’ Dots team in history goes down the drain.  I am now walking behind the vehicle trying to catch my breath in 24 degree weather wondering what went wrong.  Where did I go wrong?  As we turn the corner to stop the vehicle Joey walks (skips, whatever) and says “I handed out Every Last One of the coupons!”  I just look at him.  I want to cry but its to cold so I just look at them and think to myself I am related to them…no matter what I’m related to them and there is no way out of this.