December 6, 2009: Joey’s Version Of The Christmas Parade

  Okay – well now Joey has weighed in with his version of the events on Saturday night – 🙂

  Ok I see that these stories are very one sided here.   I thought that it was only fair to get a third  view to the way this  event  played out .   To  get the full feel of this story we need to  go back a few hours  before the  parade.  This is when I realized  that I had exhausted all of my options and  I was going to have to do this parade because Beau wasn’t going to budge.  We  left eating lunch with Judy around 3 pm and  we are about 1 hour early so Beau decides that we need gasoline.  So we will just run over to the Smoke Shop and  then head over to meet Dione at the “police station”  (wherever that is –  am not from Paducah).   So we got some gas and killed a bit of time.  We then decide to head over to the rally point  – the time is about 4 pm.  It is a good 30 minutes before we have to  meet – we should have plenty of time.  Little did I know every street was closed and we ran into a stampede of humiliated and angry horses wearing deer antlers.  I had to coach Beau around all the horses and then we finally made it to our destination.

  Afterwe got out of the car and walked 2 blocks in the wrong direction (because Beau doesn’t know what street we actually parked on) we realize that Dione is watching us.  She is two blocks away – standing in the middle of the street and waving.  As I am looking in her direction I am looking for the  big Dippin’ Dots  float.  To my surprise it is a flat bed truck with wooden rails, one strand of Christmas lights on it, and  a Dippin’ Dots pre-pack man with a  Christmas hat on.  I think to myself it’s a recession and times are hard but how much are a few extra lights anyway?  We finally make it to the float and I see Dione with 5 stockings with candy and coupons in them.  I do some very quick  math in my head and see that it is just Me, Beau, Dione, Nancy and Luke is the Pre-pack .  This is when I found out that I would have to Juggle both coupons and candy in the parade. 

  OKAY so its go time the moment of truth we are about to get started.  I have my candy and my coupons ready!  I  took off one of my gloves so I could have the best possible  grip  because it was a strict rule that we only hand out 2 pieces of candy per child.   The float basically takes off like we are in some kind of drag race.  I am handing candy and coupons out as fast as I can. You see I never had the time to look up to see where anyone else was – I was  totally focused on my task to give out candy and coupons.  I am rushing along as I hand out candy I am getting the usual response from kids (thank you and a lot of Merry Christmas’s) but when I had out the Dippin’Dot coupons I see the kids just light up and they are saying “sweet Dippin’ Dots”  I think to myself  I need to hurry before they find out its only 1 dollar off  and not free Dippin’ Dots. 

  It is about  5 min into the parade when I realize that the float is getting really far away from me.  So, I start to ditch the candy as quick as I can and try to catch up to the float.  At this moment I realize that  I am supposed to be helping out Dippin’ Dots so I better hand out  the coupons and let Beau hit the kids with candy.  So I give him my candy bag and try focus on the coupons. 

  I am  handing out  coupons as fast as humanly  possible.  My left  hand is cramped and now stuck to the stocking while my right hand is frozen solid.  But  I am still pushing forward  handing out coupons.   I finally gave up trying to keep up with the float and just let it get away.  I  look  up and I see Broadway Methodist church – I am way behind and have no chance of catching up.  This is when I run out of coupons right  in the middle of a group of kids.  After being  verbally abused for running out of coupons by an 8 year old kid I take off in a sprint to catch up with the float scared now that they are going to leave me.  After about 2  blocks I hear my name look back and see Tyler but I think to myself “no time for hugs or chit-chat I have to keep going”.  After another block I realize that I am at the end of the parade and I just give up and start walking.  I finally make it to the  float  to  find 2 coupons  for  a  free small  cup of Dippin’ Dots waiting for me.

  I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. 

  Dione says "see you next year" and leaves me standing on the corner – her limo pulls up and away she goes.  I walk back to Beau’s car – 13 blocks away.

– Joey